John Rosemond on Parenting

John Rosemond spoke at a conference in Huntsville this past weekend. Our local paper did a good job of summarizing his remarks. What he had to say needs to be heard by every parent. I know it helped this parent.

Rosemond began by stating emphatically that parents listen to the so- called experts too much. He said that "people who think highly of themselves tend to think less of others and expect to be served rather than serve: Jesus did not say, 'Blessed are those who have high opinions of themselves." I tend to listen to a psychologist who quotes Christ.

His advice is to get advice from those who have parented and not some "35-year-old Ph.D who have been married five years and has one child, age 2. I believe that is what our parents used to do.

Now, the next batch of quotes are sure to rock your world. I never ever thought I would see such words quoted from a noted author, but here they are.

Rosemond stated that "the more attention you pay your child, the less attention your child pays to you... you cause your child to pay attention to you by acting like you know what you are doing." Rosemond went on to say that he believed one of the biggest errors made today by parents is that they are in relationships with their children rather than being figures of leadership and authority, and this leads to parents desiring popularity and acceptance from their children which all but nullifies their ability to lead.

An alarming statistic is that the average age of emancipation - the time when offspring are no longer truly dependent on their parents - is 28, and it is such a large figure because parents coddle and hover far too long. The parent who truly has his or her child's best interest at heart creates a home where the child has to be somewhat independent, resourceful and responsible.

Rosemond believes parents are too worried about being right in the eyes of their children instead of just being right. He said "parents can stop having arguments with their teenagers by giving up on trying to get them to say, "You're right, Dad." He states that it is the parent who makes the decisions. "If they don't like it, that's fine. So your kid might not talk to you for a week. Enjoy the vacation." Some might think his words a bit harsh, but his point is that kids are survivors and only become fragile when we treat them that way. Continuing to rescue our kids and do things for them will only make them weak and worthless.

Most of these remarks come from his new book, The Well-Behaved Child, which is now on our Christmas list. I highly recommend John Rosemond's advice on parenting. We have been reading him for years and have learned much. Blessings!