It seems, and I am only speaking from my warped perspective here, but all the same... it still seems that we are losing this whole concept of dialogue. What do I mean?I wish to address two issues in this little diatribe of mine: the first relates to dialogue as in discussion, and the second, relates to dialogue as it relates to discovery of truth.
What is a dialogue? To begin with the basics, a dialogue is a discussion between two or more people, and this discussion, if we dig just a little deeper, deals with much more than words. A dialogue is a conversation between two or more people over dinner, coffee or a game. It took place in a room with people sitting around each other because words were only part of a dialogue. Words were accompanied by expressions, body posture, countenance and so many more no verbal forms of communication that were equally important in the dialogue. It was the primary form of entertainment for a long period of time, but today it is slowly dying, and we all should be very concerned (see the second issue).
What I see today is too many of us listening to our Ipods, MP3 players, Ipads and Kindles and not talking to our fellow men and women. Now, I do not think these things are inherently evil, but I do think that they, like anything else, if taken to the extreme are detrimental. And, frankly, we are reaching that point. I was flying home from Arizona last year and decided to do a little self survey as I was waiting for my plane. What I wanted to find out was how many people were listening to some device in their own little world versus how many people were having conversations with their fellow man. What I found was disturbing. The only people having conversations were those engaged with gate attendants or those traveling together. All others were doing one of three things: talking on a cell phone, listening to an Ipod or MP3 Player or working on a laptop. As far as I could tell - there were no conversations taking place between strangers at my gate. To me, this is disturbing on several fronts, but with little space left, let's move to my second issue.
When defining dialogue there is another definition that accompanies the first, and it goes like this:
"to discuss areas of disagreement frankly in order to resolve them."
Dialogue is "the" main component in resolution, and that dialogue must take place face-to-face. Jesus, in Matthew 18:15, instructed us to go to our brother in order to resolve conflict. This "going" implies sitting down face-to-face and discussing one's differences in order to resolve them. This couples with Jesus' famous statement instructing his Believers that when two or three gather in his name He is with them, He, being Jesus, who proclaimed that He was the way, the truth and the life. Dialogue, whether you believe in Jesus or not, is the pathway to resolution and truth. As it disappears, our abilities to resolve our issues disappear as do our abilities to make good decisions that lead to some sort of truth.
There will be those who offer the question: what about texting? What about it? I believe it is a poor substitute for actual dialogue or conversation. Why? Texting allows only the word part of communication. Dialogue is so much more; to limit it to only words is not really communicating. When we communicate via texting or even email we tend to be more extreme. We tend to be much more polar either way. Sitting across the table from another in dialogue tends to force both parties towards are more amicable exchange, and the end result is a better exchange of information and ultimately a true and closer relationship.
My last point is this: dialogue is a form of thinking in highest of categories. Sitting down and exchanging ideas with someone who does not share your original ideas in a loving and calm manner benefits both parties because two minds are better than one. Eliminating dialogue eliminates the ability to think in these higher categories and forms polarized parties not willing to compromise for the greater good on anything because it detracts from what their own party believes, and that is exactly what we find in our political process today.
The dialogue is something we should work on each day, especially those of us in Christ. Next time your out strike up a conversation with someone you don't know with the goal of getting to know them and adding to what you do not know. It will be hard at first, but I promise, it will get easier as it becomes a habit once again. Blessings!
4 comments:
Words, words, words…So many good ones…some not so…
Our conversation with Emily this morning regarding words and language, etc. got me thinking about communication and my ability (or lack thereof) for it. It prompted me to search out this post and read it again, as I remembered reading through it a couple of weeks ago. Of course, my search for “dialogue” on your blog uncovered the fact that your thoughts on the matter are copious and I had to read more.
You stated the fact that too many of us are so busy being captivated by our iPods and cell phones, that we’ve lost the ability to truly communicate with each other. It reminded me of sitting in the lounge during lunch yesterday. I suddenly realized that the room was nearly silent and looked to see why. Every single person in the room was on their cell phone. It actually saddened me; especially when I realized that I, too, had been a guilty party. How do we so easily disengage ourselves from those around us? How dreadful to think that we should all become so skilled at ignoring the people breathing the very same air in the very same room as us!
In your post, “The Great Dialogue,” you stated that our world is changing and, with that, so are we. Any proposals on how to stop that from happening? I, for one, do solemnly swear to stop using substitutes for real conversations. However, this could affect a problem for me with certain people. I tend to busy myself if I’m in any way intimidated by a person’s countenance, and therefore, sometimes lose my ability to communicate adequately. Face-to-face, I usually lack the confidence to really speak what’s in my head. Hey, maybe I do need a blog!
“Dialogue is the key to life” you say? In that case, I may be in trouble; especially if Capote was correct in his statement “A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to the scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.” Maybe I lack the intelligence I need to have a “good conversation.” (How depressing!) Maybe there’s just a shortage of “intelligent talkers” to listen to.
I’m not sure why…I'm thinking it’s because you’re actualizing many of the very goals I have for myself…but, you appear to be an “intelligent talker.” I enjoy reading your blog. Thank you for sharing it.
Well, I would say you are also an intelligent talker; I am, however, not so sure about me. The idea of being intimidated by a person's countenance is an example of our lack of communication. Countenance is part of communication, and the countenance often reveals one's feelings. The problem is we have become so enamored with agreement and peace that we have all forgotten how to disagree respectfully and without taking it personally. Difference is a gift and not a curse, yet we treat like a curse. I say speak the truth in love and continue with the hope that you will encourage others to do the same. Maybe, we can start a movement leading to intelligent conversation. It used to be that intelligent conversation depended on difference; now, we think when difference shows up something is wrong. Nothing is wrong; it is just that intelligence has shown up. Maybe you do need a blog. Thanks for reading.
You are most certainly both an intelligent talker and writer. I'm trying to decide why you say that you're not so sure. If I recall correctly, it's not the first time you've said something of that nature. You have to realize that you're words DO NOT exactly equal most of the people around you. It's precisely the reason I enjoy talking/exchanging dialogue with you.
I concur. We have forgotten how to disagree respectfully. However, I think my hesitation to speak my mind comes not from a fear of offending someone, but more so from an insecurity about my ability to hold a "good conversation."
I like your idea of "starting a movement leading to intelligent conversation." I made one very small step in that direction at lunch today. I pulled the "older and wiser" card and, shall we say, strongly encouraged" everyone to put away their cell phones. Guess what happened...we all spoke to each other.
A movement starts with one and spreads from one choosing to do something different. Often that difference is difficult because it is different than everyone else. We allow the crowd (or mob) to define what is normal and accepted. But, we can use that mob mentality as a way to start a movement in another direction. Try this experiment. Walk into a crowded room. Walk to the center, stop and start to stare at the ceiling. You will be surprised at how many join you. We are all such sheep. Baa Baa
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